Some months, you just know you're not pregnant.
The combination of our recent house move, a week long business trip out of town during the week to conceive and a longer commuter has meant that, well, I've called the tired card too many times. To be fair, so did he. And that's just what life is like, isn't it?
You start out on this ttc journey all excited and ready to make a baby, like, NOW. And when it doesn't happen for a while interest can wain. I know, you never though it would did you? Remember the early heady days of hours of sex? When you couldn't wait to get home and get your kit off and be as close as humanly possible to your beloved?
I remember them too, but a marriage is built on more than hours of sexual pleasure, really. It's the laughs and conversations, the jokes and comfortable silences that keep us together long after the weeks of light-headed behaviour fades.
Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, not pregnant. And that's ok, despite my previous meltdown, because if I know I'm not I can look forward to next month. I can plan and get ready, rest up so that this month we'll have a real chance. But only when the next cycle starts. Which it hasn't. Yet.
I'm not that late, in the grand scheme. Just a day. But a day later means another day waiting for the next cycle to start. Means that the 'peak' fertility days start to look like they'll fall when we're in mid-air, en-route to Singapore. I'm betting Singapore Airlines doens't have a very postive outlook to marital relations in mid-air, even if it is for baby-making.
If there's any karma in the world left for me, and I know I haven't earned much lately, I'd like to cash it in just now. Thanks. A quick cycle start, and a long fertile period...would it be too much to ask for a sperm meets egg moment too? I've always been a strong believer of don't ask, don't get. But maybe I've just asked for too much.
